Today I heard a Catholic nun say, “Be attentive gardeners–that you may come to know the Spirit already growing within you.”
Hope
A favorite verse of mine is the following:
Utah, near Deadhorse. 2010
Look far away.
Keep a vast mind.
Don’t squeeze yourself.
For awhile I was printing this on index cards and handing it out to puzzled clients. Usually they would read it, look up and say, Huh? But I think it contains a powerful teaching that can benefit us.
For many of us when we face a significant problem we focus on it. We focus so intensely that everything else generally fades away, and we are one single mass of anxiety or depression. We are quite literally “squeezing ourselves” with fear, as we see little else but the impending disaster our imagination is creating.
But the verse reminds us to see what we are doing, to become aware of how we’re freaking ourselves out, and to see a larger, more beautiful picture (“look far away”). We need to see that we’ve generally solved every problem we’ve ever encountered, so it stands to reason that we will get through this one, too. Or we may need to see that we have forgotten that we are more than this current problem: We need to remember our strengths and areas of worth. Then we can relax a bit (“keep a vast mind”), ease off our struggle and become aware of our inner wisdom– which somehow always gets us through.
Mindfulness Mp3′s
From time to time clients will ask me for resources of mindfulness Mp3′s and until recently I wasn’t able to help. However, I’ve recently landed on UCLA’s Mindfulness Awareness Research Program (MARC). They have made several excellent guided meditation talks available on iTunes: http://itunes.apple.com/itunes-u/mindful-meditations/id434136047#ls=1
I hope you enjoy them!
Posted in counseling
What is Gestalt Therapy? part 1
Many therapies take at face value the client’s reported problem. For instance, a client comes to therapy and says he wants to quit drinking (this applies to any problem). So the therapist accepts this goal, and they work on it, oftentimes with little success, because usually the client continues the problematic behavior.
Gestalt asks an interesting question: if the client says he wants to quit drinking, why hasn’t he? What is it that he enjoys or finds beneficial about the so-called problem? What’s going on with him that continues the behavior? In the case of alcohol or drug abuse it can be a lot of things: release from daily stressors, excitement of doing something illegal, relief from depression, excitement of being a rebel, etc. Only when this is looked at, understood and accepted can the person move to the next step of doing without the alcohol.
This step is highly counter-intuitive for many clients. They will ask, “Why do I want to look at and understand my drinking. I just want to quit!” But that dynamic of not working with the behavior must somehow be holding the problem in place or the behavior wouldn’t be there. Usually there’s so much shame about having the problem that the client needs support to look at it closely. This can be where therapy comes in. The alcohol is meeting a powerful need for the person. That need must be recognized and honored so that ways other than alcohol can eventually be found to meet it.
Posted in counseling
Office Move!
Hi All,
I’m moving my office on Friday July 8! My new address will be 9 Lake Bellevue Drive, suite 217. Beginning July 11 I’ll see all clients at the new location. I’m excited about the opportunity and I’m looking forward to the new location! The easiest way to describe how to get there is:
If you’re going west on NE 8th from 120th, proceed to 118th (at the restaurant called the Pumphouse just before Whole Foods). Turn right on 118th and follow the signs to 9 Lake Bellevue.
If you have questions, feel free to email me at Bill@BillCooperCounseling.com.
Posted in counseling
5 Benefits of Counseling
I recently read Breaking Free of Managed Care by Dana Ackley and in this book he listed 5 benefits provided by therapists:
•We help people replace despair with hope
•We help people replace incompetence with effective problem-solving skills
•We help people replace terror with calm
•We help people replace intractable conflict with understanding and cooperation
•We help people replace misunderstanding with trust, and failure with success
I couldn’t have said it better.
Posted in counseling
Poetry
The Guest House:
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
Rumi–
translation by Coleman Barks
Posted in acceptance, poetry
